Hello! Welcome to The Rad Experience. For those of you wondering, I am Raijene Alayia Dreuitt (RAD). The RAD Experience is my blog, and hopefully your new go to guide on how to not only survive, but to conquer this thing called life. Lets be real. Sometimes life can be very overwhelming, challenging, and a complete pain in the “rear end.” I wanted to say the other word, but my mama may be reading this lol. Anyway, Im here to tell you that life gets better, and things will ALWAYS be okay. For my readers who personally know me, I know right, you can’t believe this is coming from dramatic ole cry baby Rai (Ray). See I’ve always been good at encouraging others, but when it came to my personal mess I could never see the sliver lining. It wasn’t until recently that I declared that I was going to live my life at peace. The great Maya Angelou once said “I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” Things are just that simple. Live and learn, fall and get back up, and etc. You may be changed by the trails and tribulations you face, but ensure that you are changing for the better. When things get rough have your brief woe is me moment and then encourage yourself to move on. That’s my plan. That is how I am choosing to not only to survive, but to conquer this thing we call life. I am 23 years old and still have so many things to learn and experience. The RAD Experience is just my personal intake on life. I decided to share my personal journey with you to help both you and I become better people, to feel good, to love harder, to laugh more, to enjoy the little things, to count our blessings. I hope you enjoy! Welcome to Chapter 1: Surviving Your 20’s.
I know it’s easier said than done, but it is very important that we take time to appreciate the little things in life. Appreciate your life and all of the blessings that come your way. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV reads “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Try starting off each day by thanking God for blessing you with another day of life. And no matter what hardships come your way, be greatful your situation isn’t worst. For example, normally when I have to travel 2 hours away or more I pray for traveling mercy. I just ask God to cover myself, my vechical, and others on the road. So last weeekend I was traveling to Brooklyn NY from Philadelphia PA, and as always I prayed over my travel and it was a very smooth ride. Don’t you know that same night as soon as I got back to Philly I got into a a very minor accident. And I was devastated!! I mean my heart was broken, but the next day I had to stop pouting and take moment to appreciate my life. Myself nor was anyone else hurt. There is little to no damage on the other vechical and I can live with the little damage on my car. I had to take a moment to praise God. God I appreciate you for covering me.
2. Stop Comparing Yourself To Others.
I feel like this tip is a huge tip to follow in our 20s. I mean it seems as everyone is doing something. Everyone has something great going on. Graduating or completing school. Enrolling in master’s degree or other higher education programs. Being blessed with new cars, 1st homes, and better paying jobs, and opportunities to travel. But count your blessings. YOU ARE NOT IN A RACE. Things happen according to Gods will. “Don’t compare your chapter 1 to someone else’s chapter 20.” Galatians 6:4-5 NIV reads “Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.” Another verse I like for this tip is Romans 12:2 NIV and this verse reads, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Be genuinely happy about your blessings and about the blessings of others. Don’t give in to your worldly desires, be patient and continue to work hard. Keep your faith and keep your mind. Trust God, your time is coming!
3. Let Go Of The Past.
How can you be happy in your present when you are still carrying hurt from the past? It is so important for your happiness and peace of mind that you LET GO! Avoiding a situation or pretending an issue doesn’t exist is not letting go. In order to move on we really have to accept our circumstances. Take ownership for our mistakes, forgive ourselves, as well as forgiving others who may have hurt us. 1 John 1:9 NIV tells us to confess our sins. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” God forgives you so forgive yourself. However in Matthew 6:15 NIV we are told “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” And this verse stuck with me. I remember sitting in church one Sunday crying and crying listening to a pastor sermon around this verse. I remember sitting there thinking “Who do I think I am?” “Am I so perfect that I can not forgive others who have hurt me?” “How can I be so selfish when God constantly forgives me for my sins?” I had a life changing moment that made me want to live better. It made me want to take control of my emotions. Now I have my moments of sadness or anger when necessary, but then I use thoese emotions to grow from my situations. Learn from your experiences, LET GO of the past, and keep it moving.
4. Make Time For Yourself (And God)
Although our family and friends are great it is essential that we spend time alone. Learn to depend on yourself and your relationship with God. Sad call on God, happy praise God, bored talk to God. I truly believe that you gain a whole new outlook on life after strengthen your personal relationship with God. There is a ray of optimism that comes from personal and spiritual growth. The more time you spend alone the more you learn about yourself. The more time you spend with God the more you’ll be able to see his signs and hear his voice. God gives you direction you just need to listen clearly and cut out your distractions. Have you ever heard the expression go into your prayer closet? Well Matthew 6:5-6 NIV tells us “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”
5. Show Love To Others Via Your Actions
When I first started writing this tip it was just “love others.” However, it was very important that I added “via your actions.” I consider myself to be a very loving person, although my actions did not always demonstrate this. It’s easy to say you love someone but are you always kind? Do you give without expectation? Do you offer a helping hand? Luke 6:35-38 NIV reads “But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Treat others how you would want to be treated. Kill hatered with kindness. Bless others and God will continue to provide for you, ensuring you have more than enough to give. Spreading love is the key to our own happiness and the happiness of others.
6. Challenge Yourself
There’s this quote I love that goes “Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.” There is a great joy that comes from completing a challenge. There is a certain pride you can have when you can say “yes I did it and I worked hard for it.” Everyday challenge yourself to do something great. Make a checklist of things you want to get done, that you know may be a challenge and then do it. What’s stopping you? You are a child of the most high God which means can’t nothing get in your way. We all know the famous “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” -Philippians 4:13 KJV but are we just saying that scripture or do we truly believe it? Go head and challenge yourself. Apply for that job you know you can do. Ask for that promotion you know you deserve! Which brings me into my next tip being fearless.
7. Be Fearless
I shared this clip of Will Smith talking about facing his fear because I watched it about 3 times back to back thinking “wooooow.” In this clip he says “why were you scared in your bed the night before?” “what do you need that fear for?” He goes on to say “there’s no reason to be sacred, it actually just ruins your day.” And as I watched I thought how many times have I let fear ruin my day? I am truly a fearful person. I believe there is a consequence for everything you do. So I used to allow my fears of what may happen stop me from living to my full potential. It was truly a terrible way to live. I had to constantly remind myself Rai (Ray) you are a child of the most high God. I have nothing to fear if I am living right by God. There are so many verses in the Bible that tell us to have no fear! Isaiah 35:4 NIV “say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you.”” In Joshua 1:9 NIV God tells Joshua he must be brave and strong. It reads “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”” Matthew 6:34 NIV tells us about worrying it reads “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” God is constantly telling us he is in control. To be fearful is to have doubt in God.
8. Constantly Educate Yourself
If you want to do what you love. Whether it is your career job, or just a hobby, if you love it you should never stop learning about it. If you love the Lord keep learning the Bible. Go to church, go to bible study, read it on your own. If you love to dance, then dance! Study new styles and techniques educate yourself on different styles of dance. If you love music, study it, learn it, & then profect it. Whatever it is that you love to do educate yourself on it and help educate others. I used to say I hated school. But when I started learning about the things that interest me I realized that I can never learn enough. Proverbs 18:15 NIV tells us that wise men and women are always learning new things. “The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge, for the ears of the wise seek it out.”
9. Have A Postive For Every Negative
Positive vibes, positive life. We have to learn that our words are powerful and we should only be speaking positivity over our lives. This tip goes along with tip number 1. If your world is falling down, you should be dancing around saying “but it didn’t take me out!” Don’t be negative Nancy. See the beauty in things and speak some beauty into your life! Mark 11:24 NIV tells us that if we truly believe in what we pray for it is ours. “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”James 1:6 NIV says “But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.” Keep your faith, keep your good spirits and keep your positivity!
10. Know That You Have Purpose (God Loves You)
Know matter what your going through always, always remember that you have purpose. There is always a reason to smile in knowing you have purpose and God has a plan for your life. God knew who you were before you were even a thought in your mother’s mind. You should find joy in knowing that you have the most powerful love of all. The love of God. There is truly no greater love than Gods. Psalm 86:15 NIV tells us “But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.” God loves us through our good and our bad. John 3:16 NIV “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” God created you with a purpose. Got knows that we will make mistakes, and he still loves us.
These are just 10 tips that help me live a Rad Life. Following these tips has helped me make the best out of my situations. As well as keeping a peace of mind, and joy and happiness through all times. I hope these tips will be useful to you. You’re welcome to like, comment, or share -RAD
Just yesterday I had the wonderful opportunity to sit in on a Philly 103.9, Boom Session Live. In this session singer and songwriter, Sevyn Streeter, sat down with radio personality, Paris Nicole to discuss her four year wait on her debut album Girl Disrupted, overcoming her battle with depression, and how R&B music is making a comeback with other talented female artist like Solange, Sza, and Kehlani.
Although Girl Disrupted is Streeter’s first studio album, Streeter was well prepared for this moment. Streeter started singing as a young girl performing at church, talent shows, and even Show Time at The Apollo. At the age of 15, Streeter entered the music industry, joining girl groups TG4 and later on down the line Rich Girl. And even after that she continued to share her talents with the world. Streeter went on to write songs for Ariana Grande, Alicia Keys, Chris Brown and many more. We all remember Streeter’s hit song “It Won’t Stop” ft Chris Brown. This song was on Streeter’s EP “Call Me Crazy, But.” Which sold 17,000 copies the first week. So what took so long for “Girl Disrupted,”? Why the wait?
According to Streeter, Disruption. Streeter told Nicole that there were so many different experiences that disrupted something in her in one way or another. She shared with Nicole that she was disrupted by losing a close friend, finding out some unfortunate news in her family life, going through a public breakup, and just the highs and lows that come with a career she loves. Streeter went on to tell Nicole that it was so important that she included her song entitled “Livin” on her album before she could say it was completed. If you haven’t listened to the song yet it’s the first song on the album. The first Verse of the song goes:
“I lost a fight with my heart
I lost my way in the dark
On a rollercoaster, up and down
But look at me now, look at me now”
The Pre-Hook, Hook, & Chrous follows along:
“Got the whole world looking at me, feeling crazy
Hard times in my feelings, suffocating
like they made me
I’ve been waiting on this moment for a long time
And Imma be damned if I let ’em count me out
And I betting on myself
Oh, I’m living without a care
Gon’ sit back and watch ’em stare
Oh, I’m living without a care”
Before even visiting this session at Boom Philly I loved this song because it was something I could relate to on a personal level. But, as Streeter continued talking to Nicole I understood how important it was for Streeter to share this song. She told Nicole that all the disruptions in her life, especially in the last year and a half, began to make her very depressed. To the point that she thought about ending her life. Steeter shared that it was nothing but God that kept her going. And even through the days where she was to weak to pray for herself she had her mom who is a minister, her aunt who is her pastor, and her father who is a prayer worrier behind her. I sat there listening to Streeter stunned. Amazed that this singer, songwriter, and superstar was similar to me. I personally face times where Im too weak to pray for myself but I always remember that even when you’re at your rock bottle God will see you through. Streeter told us that Girl Disrupted was more than an album, it was her baby because she shared her story in the music. She sang about betting on herself, and overing coming obstacles, she sang about heartache and the men that hurt her, she made fun records that paid tribute to old school r&b artist. Like her song “Soon As I Get Home” that puts a fun twist on the classic by Faith Evans.
Streeter talked about how this album was a celebration album. Which is why it was released on her birthday, July 7th. She shared that with this album she serviced herself by touching on a little bit of everything. Streeter talked about how right now she feels r&b music is just at the best its been in a long time with albums like Solange’s a seat at the table, Sza’s Ctrl, and Kehlani’s Sweet Sexy Savage. Streeter say’s these women inspire her because all the girls are just killing it. And I totally agree. It feels good to have feel good music coming from black and brown woman I can relate to.
It was such an amazing experience yesterday visiting Boom Philly 103.9 for their Boom Session with Seyvn Streeter. Im so grateful I got to hear her story, and take in some of the confidence and positive energy she exudes. I’ll definelty have her album on repeat. I can’t wait to see what she does next. And if you have not already check out Girl Disrupted available on Apple Music, Tidal, & Spotify. -RAD
20-somethings are such an interesting part of our lives. It’s like we’re trying to find ourselves and figure out life, but we often have moments of uncertainty. It’s like we’re old enough to be making smart decisions, but young enough to find ourselves in the the most irrational situations. Sza, a neo-soul singer and song writer for those of you unfamiliar with her, just drop her debut studio album Ctrl. I must say this album is phenomenal, and it has been getting my whole entire life together lol. But in the last song on this album, entitled “20 Something” Sza sings in the pre chorus:
“How could it be?
20 something, all alone still
Not a thing in my name
Ain’t got nothing, running from love
Only know fear
That’s me, Ms. 20 Something
Ain’t got nothing, running from love
Wish you were here”
And then in the chorus she continues to sing
“Stuck in them 20 somethings, stuck in them 20 somethings
Good luck on them 20 somethings, good luck on them 20 somethings
But God bless these 20 somethings
God bless, oh God bless, oh God bless, oh God bless, oh
Hoping my 20 somethings won’t end
Hoping to keep the rest of my friends
Praying the 20 somethings don’t kill me, don’t kill me”
The first moment I heard this song I thought how beautiful and relatable is was. I played it on repeat for about 3 hours just in the feels. Thinking thank God it’s not just me. Thank God Im not the only one clueless. Stuck in this comfortable, but uncomfortable place. Excited still because I am a recent college grad, but not quite content with my current situation. I thought about all the things I want to accomplish and achieve right now. And it’s frustrating sometimes. Trying to figure out what I need to do next. What is it that God intends for me to do? Do I apply for this job? Do I start my own business I’ve been talking about for years? Should I go to grad school? How do I get my finances in order? Should I stay or should I go? Can I just move across the country on my own? Can I volunteer in another country? Will I ever find love? Does God have a soul mate for me? Just questions, on top of questions, on top of questions, Im trying to figure out. That I know you all can relate too. Feeling like I’m working so hard, but it’s not quite enough. Feeling tired and drained from trying to achieve the recourses needed for me to be successful. Then I sat and thought about my post from last month “Surviving The Comfortless of Situations.” In that post I talked about how it’s okay to use the necessary recourses, but we must remember our Lord God is the number one source. Isaiah 40:31 reads “but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” You see in Isaiah chapter 40 are messages of comfort, preparing the people for God’s arrival. I can’t say it enough, that all you have to do is try your hardest to do right by God and he will show up (arrive) in your life. God will bless you, so that you have the ability to bless others. Things may be hard now. These may be trying times, but God is a On Time God. HE WILL COME THROUGH. Listen and God will direct you. And I can admit listening to God is not the easiest thing to do. Sometimes we have some distractions and unnecessary noise in our lives that alter our ability to hear. Get rid of some of that unnecessary noise in your life and focus on God. And I know still even after that our 20 somethings, and even throughout the rest of lives, we may find ourselves in some complex situations. But God will provide and he will see us through. Nothing we go through is unnecessary. There is a blessing in every lesson. My biggest advice to myself and anyone else struggling right now in their 20 somethings is to make a vision board. I’ll be posting a vision board demonstration video on here soon for anyone who needs more understanding or direction on vision boards. Habakkuk 2:2-3 reads “And then GOD answered Write this. Write what you see. Write it out in big block letters so that it can be read on the run. This vision message is a witness pointing to what’s coming. It aches for the coming it can hardly wait! And it doesn’t lie. If it seems slow in coming, wait. It’s on its way. It will come right on time.” Take a moment to write out your goals and aspirations. Create a vision board where you can visibly see it, everyday. Continue to work hard, and most importantly have faith. Stay optimistic and trust God. Your test will turn into a testimony. This will all make sense one day and God will see you through. Thank you for reading I hope this was of use to you. -RAD
It wasn’t in my plan to write this blog this morning, but I believe it’s long over due. One of my biggest accomplishments in my 20s so far has been learning how to let go. Letting go of bad habits, outgrown situations, negativity, and the hardest one for me, letting go of people. & I don’t want to speak badly about the people I’ve had to let go of, because I believe everyone has good in them. But, it is so very necessary to let go of seasonal people and outgrown relationships. In this, one of the biggest concepts I had to accept was that people, and situations, can sometimes be seasonal. Meaning these people and situations didn’t come in your life in vain. They had a purpose, but now that their purpose has been served, its time to let go. I can even relate this to my college experience. My time at Bloomsburg University was some of the best moments of my life so far. I mean a truly amazing, challenging, and strengthening 4.5 years of my life. I’m so grateful for the experience. I miss it everyday, however it was so necessary for me to graduate when I did. My time there has come and gone. I’ll never forget Bloomsburg but it needed to be let go of. I simply outgrew that situation and I’m ready to take on what’s next. Lord, and my ex. I know y’all are so sick of reading my blog post where I relate it back to him. But he was a big part of my life & this was a huge, huge, Lord huge struggle for me. Learning to let go and be at peace was hard to do. I mean I believe I really challenged God with this one. Every time God told me to let go I fought it. I ignored the signs even when they were clear as day, and when I got hurt again, and again I cried “but why God?” I had to learn that it is okay to love people from a distance. See there is so much history in my relationship with my ex. There is so much love, knowledge, and experience I’ve gained from my ex and his family over the years we shared. I told myself I had to fight for it. I told myself we couldn’t end it, even though ending it was best for the both of us in the long run. I tried to move on by dating other people but when that failed, and I was left thinking about my ex I used that as an excuse to go back to him. And when my ex no longer wanted a relationship with me, I degraded myself by settling for situationships with him. I did that because I loved him and even though we weren’t in a relationship I still thought I had a piece of him. I was hard headed and allowing “love” to not only stress me out, but to physically make me sick. I ignored everyone, friends, family & God. I would not let go.
Until one morning I had this epiphanic moment. I had to asks myself what was I doing? What was I afraid of?
Oprah Winfrey once said “Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another stepping stone to greatness.” I needed to let go in peace! God wouldn’t fail me. Letting go was what was best. I had to remember that I am a child of the most high God. So letting go didn’t mean that I was angry, or that I felt hate. Letting go didn’t mean that I was giving up. Letting go meant simply “Letting go and letting God.” I had to stop trying to be the controller of situations and remember God is always in control. One of my favorite scriptures is Jeremiah 29:11 it reads “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” God is clearly saying “I got this.” When your holding on to something or someone you love and it’s time to let go and grow, God has you! If you live right by God he will take care of you. & it’s not easy. Especially, if your like me. Letting go is hard to do. But God will not fail you! He will bring you peace and joy that nothing or no one else can bring you. You have to trust him. Don’t allow fear and pessimism to control your current situation. Be a big girl, or guy, and let go of the bad relationships, and stagnant situations. Let Go! Let Go! Let Go! If you are feeling indesive and not sure if you should let go, I am telling you to pray on it. Proverbs 3:5-6 reads “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” God is greater than your current situation all you have to do is let go and let God! God would not allow you to let go of something or someone without having bigger and better plans instore for you. Who knows what you can learn about yourself, or how much you can grow in your faith by letting go. Let go and allow the Holy Spirit to work in you, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Let go and watch all the things you accomplish. Let go and live a Rad Life! I hope this post was of use to you. Feel free to life comment & share! -RAD
I had the honor of being invited to Tayler Wood’s YouTube Vlog!! She featured me in a video doing the whisper challenge and it was hilarious. Check it out!
This Past Saturday May 20th 2017 I had the honor of participating in American Heart Association’s 2017 Southern NJ Spring Heart Walk!! I took part in this walk in honor of my late Mom Mom, Beverly Jean Mays-Russell, and to help support the fight against heart disease and stroke. It is very important that we take our health serious. I lost my Mom Mom to heart complications. Did you guys know that:
“Cardiovascular diseases kill nearly 50,000 African-American women annually.
Of African-American women ages 20 and older, 49 percent have heart diseases.
Only 1 in 5 African-American women believes she is personally at risk.
Only 52 percent of African-American women are aware of the signs and symptoms of a heart attack.
Only 36 percent of African-American women know that heart disease is their greatest health risk.”
(Check out American Heart Association for more info.)
Live a RAD life and take your health serious!
In Loving Memory of Beverly Jean Mays-Russell
One of my biggest flaws was that I kind of relied on the emotional comfort and support of others. When I needed to get something done I would go out and do it. When I needed something financially I would go out and hustle for it. But, when I needed some love and sympathy I would rely on other people to be there for me. This may sound crazy but I think it’s because I am an older sister to 11. Yes I have 12 siblings, 1 older brother and 11 younger siblings. I feel like I constantly have to be a good role model to them, they are persistently watching me. So I hold it together, and stay strong around them, but everyone else gets my mess. Everyone else gets the “woe it’s me,” broken down, helpless wreck version of me. When I used to feel down and out I would wait for a loved one, or a friend to be the pick-me-up-er I needed to move on. I think this may have been one of the biggest underlying issues in my pervious relationship. I got to a point where I needed him to be the sunshine on my gloomy days, and he did not need me to do the same. No shade to him, he is a very strong, and independent man. But, when people are trying to grow, and are facing their own personal adversities you can’t expect them to carry the weight of your burdens plus the weight of their own. I think I learned about that in a college psychology class. We learned that in a satisfying relationship you can’t expect your partner to be your personal therapist, you began to have unrealistic expectations of your partner. But anyway, I hated psychology class, so back to me. I always built these comforting relationships with people where I kind of depended on them when I was down. And don’t get me wrong between high school and college I’ve made the most amazing group of supportive, and most importantly God fearing friends. In high school I don’t know how many times I called my friend Andrew ranting about my at the time low self-esteem. And in college I don’t know how many times I went crying to Jay about issues from financial aid, to failing an exam I studied for hours for, to begging for advice about boys. And my fabulous group of Sister-Friends, I don’t know how many times I cried and prayed with them over my biggest family issues, to my heartbreaking break up I thought I was never going to get over. My friends are pretty amazing, and I love and appreciate them dearly. However, there was a problem with me depending on their comfort. See relationships change. It’s really just that simple. I had to learn I can’t depend on people for my comfort because sometimes people may not be available to comfort me. I needed to find my own strength, encouragement, and comfort. I will never forget this quote by inspirational speaker, author, life coach and television personality Iyanla Vanzant. You guys know her from Iyanla Fix My Life probably, but she said “In my deepest, darkest moments, what really got me through was a prayer. Sometimes my prayer was ‘Help me.’ Sometimes a prayer was ‘Thank you.’ What I’ve discovered is that intimate connection and communication with my creator will always get me through because I know my support, my help, is just a prayer away.”
And Iyanla is absolutely right. There is one comforter who is never going to be unavailable. There is one comforter who is never going to leave me. There is one, and only one comforter who I should be depending on, and that is my Lord and Savior. See I learned that God will not only bring me comfort but he will fix my situation. It was through the grace of God that he has kept me this far. I had to learn to praise God in advance. I had to learn to praise God through my trails and tribulations. It is nothing wrong with talking about my struggles and telling people about my situations, as long as I am telling people about them in Faith. “Yeah Im hurting right now, But GOD! Yes I am struggling in class, But GOD! Yes I need $$$$ to pay off this bill, But God! Yes the doctor told me this, But God!” I have to know that God is my comforter and God will see me through. I will continue to use my loved ones and friends as a resource for when I am down, and whatever else I need for that matter, a therapist, a mentor, etc. However, I know that they are just a resource. My pastor said “There is a difference between a resource and The Source.” Know who turns your situations around, know who will make a way out of no way. Know who will turn your bad decisions around. I had to learn that when I begin to feel down and out I need to praise God for what he is about to do in my life. My goal is to try my hardest to live right by God, because when you are loyal to God, and living right by God, God will meet your need. Psalm 147-2:6 The Message (MSG) reads “God’s the one who rebuilds Jerusalem, who regathers Israel’s scattered exiles. He heals the heartbroken and bandages their wounds. He counts the stars and assigns each a name. Our Lord is great, with limitless strength; we’ll never comprehend what he knows and does. God puts the fallen on their feet again and pushes the wicked into the ditch.” I have learned to depend less on people and to just have faith. I mean I’m only 23 years old, and this was one of my biggest learning experiences in this chapter of my life. With this lesson I can survive anything. I hope you enjoyed this read and you remember God will comfort you. Have a RAD week. Feel free to comment and share. -RAD
This Week’s #RWW RAD WOMAN WEDNESDAY Goes To All The Phenomenal Black & Brown Women Graduating College This Month. From The 2.5’s-4.0’s You Did It!! You Did What They Said You Could not. You Are More Than A Conquer. You Are #BlackGirlMagic You Are The Future. Now Take Over The World!!
In honor of my Going•Natural•Versary I thought this would be the perfect blog post. So a year ago this week I did the unthinkable and chopped all my hair off. And I’m not going to sit her and say “I used to have long hair until I cut it all off,” or “I used to have long hair but then I got a perm and I was forced to cut it all off.” The reality is that, for me, that would be a lie! My hair was always a struggle. I have been using heat, getting colors and perms, and wearing weave since I was 10 years old. So the facts are, a year ago this week, I cut my hair because it was damaged! Short, thin, and balding in some places, chile it was a mess. And I decided that I needed a change. I couldn’t blame anyone for my damaged hair but myself. It was the result of my lack of self-care. So I thought long and hard about going natural. I knew it was my only option. I knew I had to cut it all off and start over again. And this time I had to properly take care of my hair. This was not an easy decision for me. I truly struggled with it. I mean I thought long and hard about what people would say about me. Would people still find me attractive? Let me tell you. You see my natural hair was damaged, however I always keep it covered. It was always hidden under a weave that was laid hunty! My weaves were poppin, and they were apart of who I thought I was. So would I still be beautiful cutting all my hair off? Would I still be me? Every woman has their own personal insecurities, some more than others. For me my weaves hid and masked a lot of my personal insecurities. If I’m being completely honest, I believed and I thought that society believed, body & hair were the things that made a woman beautiful. I mean features like boobs, hips, butt, and good hair are what men look for? Right?Well I’m not busty at all, chile I’m the commander-in-chief of the itty bitty titty committee. I don’t have a big ole juicy booty. At the age of 23 I think I may be finally seeing a little bit of hips forming. And I had to cut off my hair. My confidence was at an all time low! The features that I believed made a women, a women, I didn’t have. I had to decided if I wanted to continue to disguise my damaged hair under weaves, or if I wanted to make a change that was going to make me look and feel better in the future. In the words of Ms.India Arie “I am not my hair, I am not this skin, I am a soul that lives within.” And I truly had to believe that. So Idid it! I cut my hair!And don’t let me fool you. I hid my bald head under wigs, and for a long time. I barley told anyone. It was because of YouTube Vlogers like Malibu Dollface & Peak Mill that I was able to go through with this fresh start. These too YouTube sensations create and wear the most beautiful wigs and units. I thought I was going to be just like them if I had to cut my hair off.
It was also through the support of my hairstylist/ bestfriend @StylesByJane that I was able to do it. She created and styled the most beautiful wigs for me to get through this process. And most importantly it was through growing and building my relationship in Christ that I was able to get through this process. I had to learn that God loves me as I am. So it did not matter who did not. Psalm 139:14-16 reads “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” God created me as he wanted me to be. With my beautiful body, my beautiful skin and my beautiful hair! Who am I to me ashamed of Gods work? Who am I to be ashamed of my heritage? My hair represents the beautiful black woman that I am, and my hair is a statement of my pride. So as much and I love a 26in silk pressed weave, I have grown to accept and love my natural hair. I’m so very excited to be at a year in my journey & I can’t wait until I’m at 3 years and 5 years and 10 years. I learned there is so much I can do with my hair and so many natural styles I can wear. And most importantly I’ve learned “If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive. ” – Audre Lorde. You may see me with a fro today and a weave tomorrow. That’s just me. My goal is self care not your opinion. Be Bold, Be Beautiful, and Love Yourself. I hope you enjoyed feel free to like comment and share.
If I’m being completely honest, this week has been a little rough for me. I’ve allowed overthinking and pestimistic thoughts to fill my week with a storm. You see I’m 23 years old. I’m a recent college graduate. And although, I have a lot to celebrate, my life is not quite where I thought it would be. As a little girl I fantasized about what going into adult hood would be like. I dreamed about all I would achieve and accomplish by the time I was 25. I know life doesn’t always happen as planned. But, no one told me I would feel the way I sometimes feel. No one told me that I would become my own worst enemy. I’ve always been very emotional. I easily get irritated, and I’m very quick to cry, especially over things I’m passionate about. I know that, that is very unattractive for a 23 year old. Which is why I decided that this is my year to control my peace of mind. 2017 is going to be the year that I’m in control of my feelings and emotions. And so far I’ve been doing pretty good. However, this week. This week I’ve been feeling like Debbie Downer. I’ve been overwhelmed with sorrow. I have been praying for some of the same situations for years. I have this one trial that I have been praying over for around three years. What do you do when you’ve been constantly praying, but your still unsure? Im literally screaming God I can’t see the signs, please talk to me! Sometimes I wish God could come down and just smack me in my face & say “Ray Open Your Eyes I Showed You The Signs.” What do you do when it seems as everyone is moving on and worrying about their own lives, everyone is setting & achieving personal goals, but you’re just stuck? As much as you try to prosper, and grow and accomplish your own goals, you’re distracted by situations from the past. Well that was my main reason for me creating this blog. To share my trails and tribulations and to hopefully inspire or encourage someone else in situations similar to mine. So I told myself I was going to try and make a blog post either Monday or Tuesday of every week. Well, it’s 9am Friday morning and I finally gained the strength to write. Monday & Tuesday of this week I was laying in my sorrows lol (I’m so dramatic). Nonetheless, I’m serious I was, I am still hurting right now. I went to sleep last night very upset, but I woke up this morning! And that’s just it! God woke me up this morning! That alone is enough for me to be grateful. And because God has woken me up this morning I know he has not giving up on me. One of my favorite scriptures is Jeremiah 29:11 and it reads “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (NIV). That scripture holds so much volume to me. God has great plans for me, and although I may not see it or understand it today, things will always work out according to God’s will. Another scripture I try to remember on my raining days is Psalm 37:4 and this scripture reads “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (NIV). See Psalms 37:4 reminds me that my number one job in life is to live right by God. If I do my very best to live like I desire to get into the kingdom of God, then I’m going to be alright! God is going to take care of me. He has and he will continue to bless me with more than I need. I’m not just talking about financial, or meterial blessings. I mean God is going to take care of me by showering me in spiritual blessings. He is going to continue to shower me in his love, so I have to ability to bless others. That in it’s self is enough for me to jump out of bed and give God glory! Hallelujah!! So even though I have been down this week. Even though I have been carrying this storm cloud over me. I have cried myself to sleep. I woke up this morning remembering I have a reason to be at peace. I remembered that I can’t stay in the storm, because there is always a calm after a storm. God is going to see me through this. I just have to be patient, and wait for my peace to return once more. God has not giving up on me so I can not give up on him. I give God praise for all things. I’m declearing victory, I am about to go get me a Vetti Carmel Ice Latte from Starbucks, and I’m declearing calm over this storm. I’m declearing in Jesus name that today to is going to be a great day, for me and for you! I hope I was any to encourage you, or give you some hope, feel free to comment like or share. -RAD