Surviving The Comfortless of Situations

One of my biggest flaws was that I kind of relied on the emotional comfort and support of others. When I needed to get something done I would go out and do it. When I needed something financially I would go out and hustle for it. But, when I needed some love and sympathy I would rely on other people to be there for me. This may sound crazy but I think it’s because I am an older sister to 11. Yes I have 12 siblings, 1 older brother and 11 younger siblings. I feel like I constantly have to be a good role model to them, they are persistently watching me. So I hold it together, and stay strong around them, but everyone else gets my mess. Everyone else gets the “woe it’s me,” broken down, helpless wreck version of me. When I used to feel down and out I would wait for a loved one, or a friend to be the pick-me-up-er I needed to move on. I think this may have been one of the biggest underlying issues in my pervious relationship. I got to a point where I needed him to be the sunshine on my gloomy days, and he did not need me to do the same. No shade to him,  he is a very strong, and independent man. But, when people are trying to grow, and are facing their own personal adversities you can’t expect them to carry the weight of your burdens plus the weight of their own. I think I learned about that in a college psychology class. We learned that in a satisfying relationship you can’t expect your partner to be your personal therapist, you began to have unrealistic expectations of your partner. But anyway, I hated psychology class, so back to me.books I always built these comforting relationships with people where I kind of depended on them when I was down. And don’t get me wrong between high school and college I’ve made the most amazing group of supportive, and most importantly God fearing friends. In high school I don’t know how many times I called my friend Andrew ranting about my at the time low self-esteem. And in college I don’t know how many times I went crying to Jay about issues from financial aid, to failing an exam I studied for hours for, to begging for advice about boys. And my fabulous group of Sister-Friends, I don’t know how many times I cried and prayed with them over my biggest family issues, to my heartbreaking break up I thought I was never going to get over. My friends are pretty amazing, and I love and appreciate them dearly. However, there was a problem with me depending on their comfort. See relationships change. It’s really just that simple. I had to learn I can’t depend on people for my comfort because sometimes people may not be available to comfort me. I needed to find my own strength, encouragement, and comfort. I will never forget this quote by inspirational speaker, author, life coach and television personality Iyanla Vanzant.  You guys know her from Iyanla Fix My Life probably, but she said “In my deepest, darkest moments, what really got me through was a prayer. Sometimes my prayer was ‘Help me.’ Sometimes a prayer was ‘Thank you.’ What I’ve discovered is that intimate connection and communication with my creator will always get me through because I know my support, my help, is just a prayer away.”
 And Iyanla is absolutely right. There is one comforter who is never going to be unavailable. There is one comforter who is never going to leave me. There is one, and only one comforter who I should be depending on, and that is my Lord and Savior. See I learned that God will not only bring me comfort but he will fix my situation. It was through the grace of God that he has kept me this far. I had to learn to praise God in advance. I had to learn to praise God through my trails and tribulations. It is nothing wrong with talking about my struggles and telling people about my situations, as long as I am telling people about them in Faith. “Yeah Im hurting right now, But GOD! Yes I am struggling in class, But GOD! Yes I need $$$$ to pay off this bill, But God! Yes the doctor told me this, But God!” I have to know that God is my comforter and God will see me through. I will continue to use my loved ones and friends as a resource for when I am down, and whatever else I need for that matter, a therapist, a mentor, etc. However, I know that they are just a resource. My pastor said “There is a difference between a resource and The Source.” Know who turns your situations around, 48b39b20cb7aea46d73d2c995e08af641know who will make a way out of no way. Know who will turn your bad decisions around. I had to learn that when I begin to feel down and out I need to praise God for what he is about to do in my life. My goal is to try my hardest to live right by God, because when you are loyal to God, and living right by God, God will meet your need. Psalm 147-2:6 The Message (MSG) reads God’s the one who rebuilds Jerusalem, who regathers Israel’s scattered exiles. He heals the heartbroken and bandages their wounds. He counts the stars and assigns each a name. Our Lord is great, with limitless strength; we’ll never comprehend what he knows and does. God puts the fallen on their feet again and pushes the wicked into the ditch.” I have learned to depend less on people and to just have faith. I mean I’m only 23 years old, and this was one of my biggest learning experiences in this chapter of my life. With this lesson I can survive anything. I hope you enjoyed this read and you remember God will comfort you. Have a RAD week. Feel free to comment and share. -RAD

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